These photos were taken just today as we attended Joe's Mother's Memorial Ceremony and Burial.
Joe has just returned from doing Mission work in the state of Mississippi. He does work among the Native Americans there --- and, in fact, supports several Indian families financially with every trip.
But this blog note is not to extol Joe's virtues as a Philanthropist or Hunanitarian to the Natives.
It is to show appreciation to him for his personal service and love to the Bain Family.
During Dad's last years, Joe was his very best friend --- and one of our's, too. Because of his love for Daddy and his friendship we had an extra-invaluable family member to help us look out for him and care for him. Joe was with Dad many times when we weren't there or couldn't be there --- and that is great friendship.
Joe and John had made many great memories in the past as they crossed paths in the used car industry. They wheeled and dealed, bought and sold, made a little money, spent a LOT of money, and raised a little Hell along the way.
Those memories fueled many recollections and conversations. Laughing about old times helped them pass time and make their hearts lighter. In these last few years they have been in the same boat together (though another ship came in for Dad first) --- they wound up in the same apartment together (funnier than Oscar and Felix) --- and they wound up in church together.
If you could ask Daddy right now what he felt one of his greatest accomplishment's in life was --- I believe that he would tell you that he got Joe and the Lord in the same room together. Though Joe has not committed himself to any Baptistic shows or demonstrations of religiosity --- Daddy told me before he died that he believed that Joe and God had settled things out. I believe that Daddy was right.
Joe's not a saint (neither am I, neither was Daddy) and there seem to be some people in this world who are on the outs with him. I can understand that, I guess, because, you see, Daddy and Joe were a lot alike. It took Grace to be able to love and stick with Daddy --- and I believe that it takes Grace to love and stick with me --- and it takes grace to love and stick with Joe, too.
And, thanks to our undeserved relationship with an exceptional Savior, our family seems to have an abundance of Grace --- and love --- and stickiness.
So, if you don't like Joe, and don't want to have anything to do with him --- just keep it to yourself. Aint no need in startin' up a fight --- especially since the Righteous always win (and expecially since Danny and I push a combined weight of over 600 pounds and can powder concrete with our bare hands).
In Dad's last days in the apartment --- he spoke to Joe so harshly and in such anger that Joe had to leave. Daddy wasn't exactly at himself --- but he wasn't all that far off from what he was in some of his better times --- and I don't blame Joe for packing up his things and moving out. I lived with Daddy for quite a while right after he began his treatment in kidney dialysis --- and there were many times I would have quit if I could.
Only a few days after that Daddy entered the hospital for the last time. Danny and I had to go to DCI to get him and have him transported to the hospital. He was in really bad shape. The day that Danny and I helped our Dad at DCI was one of the saddest days of my life. I can't tell you about it right now ---- maybe I'll have the courage to say something about it later.
We took Daddy to Decatur General ER. He was in a fog and very confused. He didn't actually know where he was --- but when he looked up into Danny's face (Danny was holding his hand on one side of the bed) and then searched over to see mine --- he said, "Where's Joe?"
We told Daddy that we had called Joe ---- and that he was on his way.
I have worried that some of my thoughts in these letters --- or all of them combined --- might tend to make someone think that my Dad was a bad person, or that he was mean, or cruel. He was not any of those things.
And I have NOT worried that when those who knew and loved him read these words that they would misunderstand. A casual reader who never knew John Bain might judge him from my words as being a terrible person.
You see, Daddy could wake up from confusion and ask for Joe because he had already forgotten their trouble and his own bad temper. All of us who knew and truly loved him knew that his mouth and his heart were not connected.
I almost answered, "Daddy, you ran Joe off! Don't you remember?"
But I didn't. Because I knew that Joe wasn't really run off at all. And Joe was soon at his bedside holding his hand and speaking comforting words to him as if nothing out of joint had ever happened between them. He sat with Daddy, ministered to him, rubbed salve on his feet, and tried to feed him his meals until Daddy passed.
We didn't ask Joe to help carry Dad to the graveyard. We insisted that he sit with the family. And he did. And he is.
Thanks, Joe
from Dennis and Danny . . . . . . and from Daddy.
you're a very good friend.
.
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